Start something that matters | Face your fears

Good Morning my friends.. This morning I will put a little spin on the usual inspirational post for the morning.

As most of you know, the other day I picked up a book called “Start Something That Matters” by Blake Mycoskie the founder of Toms shoes!!
I wanted to share this morning a few notes from his book and I so wish I could gift  this book to every single one of you as it’s sure one of the books that will change your life and help you see things in a different point of view! I started seeing life in a different point of view when I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer!! Even though the fight was not easy, I am most thankful that I had the hard awakening that WOW even though I was 31 at that time, my life could  be over just like that and have I done with my life?? Did I do all that I loved to do? Did I start something that mattered that would last long after I was gone?  The scary answer to that was a big, scary NO!

I can say that after cancer I started to live the life that I was intended to live, I taught myself photography, I started a non profit organization, Tiny Sparrow Foundation, to take pictures of children that are facing life threatening illness and provide those last memories for these families and recently  I am just sharing my talent with you… with people all over the world!!! I love what I do and even though the timing when I started all this was not right, the fear was so great.. I did not give up, I worked hard and I love where I am at this point in my life. And you can do it too!!! Just don’t left fear take over your life!!!

I think why I am most thankful for my cancer journey is that cancer wiped away a lot of my fears.. Well I am still human and have some fears .. but a lot of the fears like what would others say about me, what if I don’t know how to do this, what if I will make a fool of myself.. all those fears that we all have… well they are GONE. When you are faced with the reality that OMG I might be gone if this cancer beast returns, if I don’t make it, then the question, what have I done with my life is becoming such a reality that you are thankful for every single day of your life, and you live every day like it was your last!

Now when I have big fears, I put it this way: Well,  I am not sure how long I have, yes I am cancer free but this beast can came uninvited in my life at any time and I always feel like I am running out of time, so who cares that I might not say things right, or that I might sound that I am not a professional.. Well I am human and then a professional. My goal in life is to built people up, to encourage, to start things that matter, things that will be here when I am gone!!!

And this book, Start something that Matters, is all about what I believe in. Today I wanted to share with you a little paragraph about FEAR!!!

“Fear is much more common than most people realize. That’s because we live in a society were fear isn’t something we life to talk about; as a rule, we’re much more impressed by boldness. But fear happens to everyone – especially anyone who is starting a business, interviewing for a job, or rallying people around a cause.
Fear stays with us throughout our lives. When we’re unemployed, we fear that we’ll never get another job. When we do get a job, we fear being fired. When we invest our earnings, we fear losing our savings. And when we start our own company, throwing in our own savings and efforts and faith, we fear losing everything.
Since fear is going to be with us for the rest of our lives, we must lear to face it, and the first step is understanding what fear is.
Fear happens when we feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible situation or event – in other words, something that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s our brain’s way of telling us to pay attention and to alert us to dangers or risks. Without fear, our ancestors would have walked right up to a saber-toothed tiger or woolly mammoth and become that night’s dinner. We no longer face prehistoric predators, but we still need to listen to fear when it warns us not to jump out of an airplane without a parachute, pick a fight with someone twice our size, or walk into a busy street without looking.
But instead of responding to fear with actions, too many people STOP acting when they feel fear. They feel overwhelmed. They retreat. They give up. And often they use it as an excuse not to start something that matters….
EVERYONE fells fear in business at some point, but the important thing to remember is that what you fear won’t kill you, in business at least. Those who are successful face up to their fears and create a pan to overcome them.
In fact, the more you read about successful enterprises the more you’ll discover how many successful people, faced with rejection, bankruptcy, loss of support, or outright failure had every opportunity to shut down what they were doing and simply fold. Instead, they faced their fears, manages to get past them, and ultimately triumphed.”

Well if you made it this far with the reading and you did not give up when you saw the length of this post I can reassure you that you have the drive and courage of somebody that will start things that matter in life!! Don’t give in to your fears!! Rather face them!! Admit that you are scared.. that’s what works for me at least.

I am very honest and I tell people that yes I am scared to make the youtube videos, yes I am intimidated to talk in front of a group of people, yes I make lots of mistakes and loose my words when I talk but this is me, this is part of who I am, part of my story and if I can accept myself for who I am and not hide myself behind a perfect appearance, first I am more approachable and second people will relate to me and will so understand when I make a mistake.

I am not on a mission to live a perfect life with no mistakes and not do anything… I am on a mission to go after what I love to do in life, to learn from my mistakes, but to leave a whole lot of things that surely matters!!!

Hope you can come and join me and star doing things that mattered!!!

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priscilla - September 14, 2011 - 10:41 am

Lidia,

Thank you, yet again, for letting us see into your soul; letting us see you, the person, and not just the photographer. Ever read something that touches your soul? That makes you stir inside? That stops you, even if for a moment? Well, this is exactly what your post has done to me. I know what it’s like to walk through fear and come out on top. The fear, or the effects of that fear, are still near but having walked through fear and survived made me a stronger person. I still struggle with fear, fear as an artist, fear of failure in the photography world, fear that my dream to do this full time is a pipe dream and I’m not that good. I am going to print this and keep it close, as a reminder.

Thank you as always.
xoxo

Amanda - September 14, 2011 - 10:59 am

My biggest fear is moving. Right now, we are stuck in a little town in South Dakota (my husband’s and my hometown) with our 3-year-old, Oliver, while Andrew (hubby) finishes his schooling at a college here in town. Money is tight because of school and because we are young and not quite established yet, but we desperately want to just pack up and leave! Both sets of parents live in town and we have not had the chance to stretch out our wings and just FLY on wing that we’ve been given. My husband and I are partners in my photography business and although I have a good feeling about where our business could take us, we are caught in a limbo…waiting…in a photographer-saturated area. Over and over we look into different places to live, even going as far as to tour apartments in these cities and applying for jobs. We’ve gotten so close to getting out, to finding a place where we could continue on our path while Andrew finishes school, but fear always grips us to tightly and we just…remain discontent in a town we can’t breathe in. I wish I had the courage to know that we CAN jump and leap and soar and be okay! I mean, we are only 22–I shouldn’t feel so trapped with life, right?!

Anyway…I would love to win your Bohemian Symphony Collection because your work is my biggest inspiration. I check your blog and facebook page AT LEAST twice daily. I just wish I could pick your brain and absorb some of your talent and creativity! I want my work to shine like yours does. THAT is why you should choose me for the free collection. ;)

Best,
Amanda

Megan - September 14, 2011 - 11:02 am

I have let the fear of failure and rejection cripple me from enjoying too many things in my life! I enjoy your inspirational quotes that you post on facebook and I am so glad you posted about your blog to lead me to this post. Even if we are scared and just take a baby step it is worth it to reach a goal or dream. I am also guilty of having an all or nothing mindset.
I am now looking at things with a new perspective on life. Especially now that I have 4 beautiful children that I am trying to inspire to follow their dreams and live each day with determination and not give up. I have to lead by example. I am trying to start my own photography business, so thank you for this great inspiration!

Mary Oxford - September 14, 2011 - 11:39 am

You are truly an inspiration all on your own! Everyday Ive been reading you’re inspirational quotes and the past month has been nothing but trial for my family and each time I read your daily quote it reminds me to keep my head up and not fear what is front of me. But as for me im a mother of 3 little girls and my biggest fear and being a failure to them or seeing them make the same mistakes I’ve made in life. Im terrified everyday that today might be to the day I screw up and im not being good enough for them or the fear of not waking up one day and not be here to help them not make the same mistakes as me. I want to be the best mother ever for all 3 but no body ever wrote a book on how to be the perfect parent so I believe most parents would agree with me that they fear seeing themselves fail in front of their kids or seeing their kids fail. Its all something id never want to happen. But I believe as long as I have a little bit of this fear still in me everyday its a reminder to me to always be the best I can be for them so that they have the best.
I know my comment seems repetitive but its the truth. Keep doing what your doing! You may not can reach everyone but you sure have reached out to me! I look forward to seeing an inspirational quote on your fb page each day to remind me how lucky I truly am!

Sarah Jones - September 14, 2011 - 1:32 pm

My fear was always that people never viewed my work the way that I did; It was also that my “competition” would run me out of business..well now competition is a swearword in my book. One day i was watching an episode of the series by Framed and this incredible photographer said something along the lines of “Don’t get caught in the pit of comparison, it will only stop you in your tracks.” I will never forget those words and I have unfortunately found that to be true the hard way, I was getting so stuck on what everyone else was doing that I was neglecting to allow myself, my creativity, and my skills to grow. It’s such a hard thing to get over and I still struggle with it, but I’m getting so much better about loving what everyone else does as well as loving what I do. :)

Janie - September 14, 2011 - 1:38 pm

Thank you for this post,I will remember this every time I feel fear which is often.I never knew what I wanted to do in my life until I found photography.I have been studying on my own for 2 years but I just can’t seem to go to the next step.I’m afraid I can’t reach my goal of becoming a professional because I have severe fibromyalgia.Even if I don’t reach my goal I will never stop learning and dreaming that I can do it.

Andrea Steffan - September 14, 2011 - 1:44 pm

My fear was booking my first real client. It was hard to put a price and was nervous during the shoot. What if they didn’t like my pictures? Am I charging enough? Am I charging too much? It turned out great and I was really happy with the pictures I got. The client loved them too! I still get nervous, but I think I always will a little bit :)

Pamela Wyatt - September 14, 2011 - 1:55 pm

How inspiring you are!!! I am very grateful to Confessions of a Prop Junkie for introducing me to you, your work and your ideals! I have just downloaded Blake Mykoskie’s book and look forward to reading it!

Laura Fifield - September 14, 2011 - 2:03 pm

I fear that I am not good enough to be doing what I love doing {photography}…my fear has kept me from not pursing my dream until just recently. I am discouraged quite a bit and always need a positive remark to keep me going. My self confidence is quite low..but I am working on it. How can I expect others to believe in my ‘work’…if I don’t?! I’m slowly learning! I believe God gave me this talent..and I want to do my best to glorify HIM!

Ashley Moyes - September 14, 2011 - 2:27 pm

After reading your blog I started to thnk about my fear. I can’t narrow it down. I think there is fear behind every corner we turn around. It may be as small as finding a bee hive when you walk around the corner of something. It may as big as losing a child. When I really got to thinking about it there was just to many fears that run through my mind to list. I am terrified of snakes and bees. I hate to see someone perform in front of an audiance for the thought that they fail. I absolutely fear for my kids lives. So many things run through my head of what could happen to them. I don’t fear for my death cause I know my eternity will be great. We try to keep all our fears and thoughts like these inside and smile whenever we have the chance.

Amber Parker - September 14, 2011 - 2:31 pm

I lost my dad due to a brain tumor just 2 short years ago at age 18. Ever since hes been gone. I guess you could say Ive been scared to live. Ive been scared to be happy, to accomplish things, becuase it got so hard knowing he wouldnt be there to help me through it all. He wouldnt be there whenI graduated high school, or college, or got married, or to see his grandkids, I recently just found my passion for photography and its very much because of my father. We barely have any photos together. Anything to show all the memories i have with him. Now i take pictures every day! I finished high school, started college, and my photography business has been a huge hit so far! I thank him & god everyday for blessing me with this gift to capture moments for other people! I went through such a hard phase in my life the past couple years & i finally realize hes still with me. and pushes me through every obstacle I face.So I guess you could say I was scared to live, to be happy, knowing he was gone. Ive overcome that fear. & know hes still with me everyday! I love your work!& am trying to save up to get ur collectioN!

Dawn - September 14, 2011 - 2:32 pm

Oh Lidia! Again, I am so glad to have you in my web world. You bring so much inspiration with you! Fear of rejection has plagued me thru my years. Not so much with people, but with jobs. I have sat through interviews trying to say the right things to the point of not being able to say anything at all! Then I realized that if they didn’t like what I was going to say, I wouldn’t like working there anyway! I tried to encorporate that into my life also. Say something, anything, as long it’s true to you and you will be where you’re meant to be. I really like what you’re saying!!! So thanks!

Claudia - September 14, 2011 - 2:40 pm

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed at this very moment. You are truly inspirational!

Christina H. - September 14, 2011 - 2:50 pm

My biggest fear right now is not being able to provide for my 3 little ones. I fear we won’t be able to provide their needs and wants. The downward economy hadn’t hit us until last year, we cut back quite a few things, but I eventually couldn’t be a sahm anymore. I got a part-time job to avoid daycare expenses. I’m also almost done portfolio building so I can work towards being a full-time photographer. Thank you for this post, it was very inspiring.

Amy Flaker - September 14, 2011 - 3:53 pm

I’m so glad you wrote about this. “Fear” has been on my mind a lot lately. And I’ve been trying to fight my way through it and hope to come out victorious, or at least unscathed.

I have 3 HUGE fears that I am trying to overcome right now. The first being what I love – photography! My family and I just relocated a little over 2 months ago and I am faced with restarting my business. I fear that I will not be able to start again and be successful. I have so many ideas and plans to start marketing, but stop dead in my tracks – worried that it’s a lost cause. But I do plan on persevering and just taking it one day at a time – one project at a time. I know I’ll be successful and will come through this obstacle with a smile on my face.

My other fears are health related. 13-years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The memory of her diagnoses is still fresh in mind as if it happened yesterday. One of her first signs of MS were the lapses in her memory and impaired judgement. Over the past few years, I’ve found that I can’t remember simple things – things that I should know without having to think about it. Even my husband has voiced his concern for my forgetfulness. I’m so scared that it might be a sign of MS but keep telling myself it’s just “Mommy Brain” and a lack of adult interaction. The brain is like any other muscle in your body right – where exercising it is essential? how much excersie could my brain be getting with Sesame Street and Phineas and Ferb?!

My last fear has hit close to home recently. I’ll spare the details, but for the past 5 years cervical cells have been abnormal and are pre-cancerous. About a year ago, I received a call from the doctor (actually him and not his nurse – never a good sign) that I was going to need a biopsy done and that my cells were increasingly getting worse. And so I faced with the fear of cervical cancer knocking at my door. I’ve never been so scared in my life. The fear of losing my family was so debilitating. But I told myself not to jump to conclusions and kept myself busy. The time came for my biopsy and I patiently awaited the results. The doctor called me a week later – “good news” he said. The results had come back benign! I could finally breathe again. Since then, I’ve had 2 other check-ups (every 6 months) and each has resulted in normal cells. One more “clean” check-up and I can go back to yearly exams and be able to breathe a lot easier. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have to worry about cervical cancer anymore – it just means that I don’t have to worry about it today.

In the meantime, I plan on living life to it’s fullest. Loving and experiencing my children and husband as much as I can. And working hard to perfect my craft and rebuild my business. I do not want to look back on my life with regret.

Brooke - September 14, 2011 - 4:05 pm

I wanted to begin by saying hello and telling you I am new to your blog and photography, but have sincerely enjoyed your posts and look forward to many more! My story, as it relates to fear, began probably about the time I was brought into this world. I have always been a fear-based person and fear has affected every aspect of my life. When I was a small child, I had such irrational fears about fires and earthquakes that going to sleep at night was next to impossible. As a teenager, my fears and anxieties became so bad that, over a couple year period, I had pulled a large portion of my hair out in single strands, as I fretted over things that shouldn’t have been my concern. I became a single parent at an early age and was forced to “grow-up” quite rapidly to ensure my daughter was sufficiently cared for. I have worked very hard ever since and have been unable to fulfill my dreams for a higher education. I had a turn of good luck about 6 years ago when I posted for a position in my company and actually got it. The salary allowed me to buy my first home so my daughter had a steady living environment, but the burden of that responsibility, along with no room for failure, evoked a fear so deep that it caused a catastrophic chain of events. I began having panic attacks. My first attack scared me so badly that I called 9-1-1 on myself thinking I was going to die. After the paramedics calmed me down and assured me my vitals were good, I was then deathly afraid of having future panic attacks. My daughter was young and had been previously diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder, which purports to an intellectual disability, so I was worried that if something happened to me, she wouldn’t know what to do to help me…then I feared for her. I was afraid that if I had another attack while in public, that people would think I were crazy. I was also afraid to be too far away from hospitals, so I missed out on some great social outings and memory building times with my daughter. I was unable to date because I suddenly had all these new “rules” and letting anyone see what had become of me was unthinkable. My job and the life I had built was only hanging on by a thread. And things had gotten so bad, that after an intervention by family and friends, I agreed to find a counselor I felt comfortable working with. I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and mild agoraphobia and immediately began cognitive behavioral therapy. After about three solid years of therapy and the realization that I was only human (like you said) and not perfect, I finally found myself. I am now medication free, still working in the same job for the same company, married to a wonderful man that immigrated here from Canada just to be with me and my daughter, and we now have a little boy we welcomed into this world a few months ago. I now have the courage to be imperfect. And with that, have decided to explore the option of turning a new passion into a lucrative business. My skills as a photographer are far from professional, but after remembering how far I’ve already come, and after reading other inspiring stories, such as those found here, I know I can make it. And I’m enjoying every bit of the journey! Thank you for letting me share.

Amy L - September 14, 2011 - 4:05 pm

My fears are almost always something I place upon myself. Am I good enough? Not only at photography but being a new mom, at being a good wife? My fear in everything is will I fail myself or my family? And it’s my husband that pulls me back to reality and reminds me that I am the one that puts the extra pressure on myself all the time. I always strive to do my best at everything and then feel failure if I don’t quite meet that mark. I’m trying my best now with juggling being a full time photographer and full time stay at home mom to realize that I am only one person who can only do so much. It’s not a life or death fear as others have had to go through and Lidia, I love your honesty and transparency, you are a real inspiration to others no matter what the fear may be. Everyone goes through fear in one way or another and the same fear may be different for each person. Thank you for this blog! LOVED IT!

Miriam/The Winter Guest - September 14, 2011 - 4:59 pm

I’ve been a follower of your blog only for a short time, but I tell you… I did enjoy this post! It so much relates to how I’ve been feeling lately. Thanks for this “brain storm”.

Racheal - September 14, 2011 - 11:26 pm

Thanks for this post, it seems to come at a good time in my life right now. I fear EVERYTHING when it comes to how I’ll perform at anything in my life! I’m in love with photography and everyone says that I’m talented at it but I still have so much self-doubt about my skills. It’s something that I can’t seem to get over and it’s stopping me from living my dream as a photographer. So I guess my biggest fear is ME!!

amanda - September 15, 2011 - 2:13 am

my biggest fear is failure. i fear that i am going to fail at this business. i have been in business since march. i have seen people take off in this time while i stand still. i fear now the jealousy. it is so stressful building a business from the ground up. i want to thrive. i know i have what it takes. i need to step away and do something that matters. thank you :)

Jamie - September 15, 2011 - 6:54 pm

First of all, I love all of your stuff and your photography! :) I too have dealt with fear. Fear of people, events, death. It’s a HORRIBLE thing to deal with! I try to deal with it by pushing those thoughts out of my head and praying that God would guard my heart and mind from things that cause me to fear!

Amber - September 18, 2011 - 5:17 am

I just discovered your blog and I just wanted to say how inspiring i think you are… you have touched my heart with your words and your images.

DeDe Boyer - September 20, 2011 - 3:21 pm

Thank you so much for posting this… It is just what I needed o hear today… Fear of failure stops me short… It won’t anymore!!!!
I love your website just found you last night… have been reading all day!! lol Thank you for sharing your tips… I have been trying to find a way to learn myself how to use my camera on other than the preset ettings… Looove how you explain things!!! I will probably be here everyday till I have read everything!! haha
Love you already!!! <3 =]]]

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