Dear Cancer

LidiaDear Cancer,
Here it seems that we possibly are crossing paths again. You might have changed a few things inside my body making it hard to breath, or walk and be in pain. But see this face… Even if it still looks tired after 2 hours of getting ready, this face is the face of a survivor that it’s not about to give up. I don’t know why our roads crossed again, but rest assured that there will always be a spark of hope in my eyes, even as we are getting ready for possibly round two in the ring…

My outside appearance might change, you might claim my hair like you did before and my eyelashes and my eyebrows…. But the spark of hope in my eyes will be hard to steal. I know everybody hates you, and everybody says let’s kick cancer’s butt. And at first I hated you, too. I was so determined to make you my enemy… to fight hard until we have a winner and of course in my mind I wanted to be the winner.

But than I stopped for a second and looked back at what I learned from our first encounter.You took away everything that makes me a woman, and left my body with many scars. I thought for a very long time that you were a thief until one day I realized that you gave me many more things in my life than you took….

You gave me the joy of living my life in the present, you gave me the passion to live each day as it was my last, you gave me the compassion to share with others going through trials, you gave me a good understanding of how to set my priorities in life, you gave me peace in my heart that I never had before. You gave me plenty of time to rest my body and I was able to use that time to teach myself photography which happened to be a huge passion of mine that I had given up because I didn’t see it possible to pursue it before you. You gave me the ability to forgive people that hurt me deeply and not hold grudges. You gave me time to spend with my daughter and explain to her very hard concepts about life. You gave me patience when my daughter spills something, or makes a mess and taught me not be upset at her for messing up my all perfect home. You gave me the ability to leave the perfectionist Lidia behind and to enjoy life as if comes with it’s perfect and not so perfect moments… And you have me so many other things that I don’t think I could have learned in a lifetime.

I know the pain, the tears, the fear you bring along are hard to deal with but I am the strong woman I am today because of our first encounter together. I screamed and kicked and had a pity party at first thinking why me? Why me?… But after a while I surrendered and said WHY NOT ME? Despite your ugliness and what you did to my body you made my soul shine so bright that others can see the light and get inspired and shine their own light in their own corner of the world.

So even though I wish you would have come in my life at a more convenient time ( I mean you see I am a pretty busy woman , I have things to do:)) i trust that everything happens for a reason and I am here… ready to learn more things and let my soul shine even brighter than before. It’s hard to call you my friend but I do tell everybody that cancer was the best thing that happened in my life…. So in a way there is this love hate relationship between you and I..

My humble self that decided to see cancer not as a tragedy but as an opportunity to learn new things, and to live each day as if it was the last day of her life..

Violet - March 17, 2014 - 3:58 pm

Beautiful. Praying for you.

Anna - March 17, 2014 - 7:55 pm

This is so powerful and inspirational. What an amazing perspective. I’ll be sending you prayers from Atlanta!

Nikki - March 19, 2014 - 2:39 am

You are amazing….
I just love the way you see life!Full of love and hope and COLOUR! I love the way you speak like you have no chip on your shoulder, I love the way you are with your daughter, when I think of who I look up to in life it’s not my mother… It’s you…. :)
Kia kaka (stand strong) Arohanui (love) Nikki :)

Donna (Texas) - March 19, 2014 - 12:41 pm

Praying for you now and always!!!
Stay Strong!!!

Judy - March 20, 2014 - 9:36 am

I will pray for you too. I have been thru cancer twice now, and mine may reoccur. Bt like you I have deceided not to let it run my future. I have decided to start up my photography business, I will not put it off any longer, life is short, I want no regrets! Te BEST to you!

Kristen - March 22, 2014 - 12:10 pm

You’rean amazing photographer and extremely talented. Your daughter is so beautiful as you are too. My thoughts and prayers are with you and daughter.

Juliet - June 4, 2014 - 6:54 pm

Lydia -

My thoughts and prays are with you always. You are a fighter and you will win this battle. Keep up the positive attitude. You are an inspiration to many.

Melissa - November 3, 2014 - 8:20 pm

I stumbled across you on Pinterest, read some of the entries… And looked at a bunch of your photos.

And now I’m worried- because you haven’t written in so long. Are you okay? Does anyone know?

I’ll pray for you!

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